


Don't Tell Sam...

by ViolentAddict



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Devious Dean, Fallen Cas, Humor, M/M, Not-So-Innocent Cas, Oblivious Sam, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-30 00:48:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11452524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViolentAddict/pseuds/ViolentAddict
Summary: Cas sounds completely helpless. “This hasn’t really happened to me before, Dean. I know arousal is part of the human condition but I’ve never experienced it. I cannot remedy this issue myself.”But Dean’s practically halfway out the motel room door when he yells, “Google it!”OrThe fic where a fallen Cas loses his purity to (initially reluctant) Dean, while Sam is none the wiser.





	Don't Tell Sam...

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, thanks for clicking on this story!
> 
> For anyone wondering, I am still working on 'Everything Looks Better From Up Here', no worries. But I had this on my computer for the past three months and decided I would finish it since it was kind of amusing to read.
> 
> Special thanks to FestiveFerret for the edits and the lovely suggestions, without you this story would not be as good as it is now.
> 
> This fic was inspired by Lustra's 'Scotty Doesn't Know'.
> 
> Please enjoy!

It’s been two weeks since Cas fell, and he’s mopey, to say the least. Dean’s not dense - he sees the near constant frown on Cas’ face that has almost become his sole expression. His eyes stare off into the distance whenever someone talks to him and he rarely smiles now. He’s like a depressed emo teenager who’s finally starting to feel the weight of existence. Only Cas is technically  _ eons _ old, he doesn’t wear black and he doesn’t seem inclined to pick up any eyeliner. Not that Dean’s been watching him. Because he hasn’t.

 

But Cas being depressed is a drag. 

 

He seems so lost in another world now. Dean can only imagine what Cas must be feeling, but he can’t say that he doesn’t get it. The ugly sting of loss isn’t something he has to reach deep within himself to find. 

 

At the very least, he tries to help Cas adjust to being human. He shows him basic hygiene, teaches him how to shave, helps him acknowledge and decipher some of his body’s needs. And Cas seems to be getting the hang of it. He’s not great at the whole  _ wonders of the world _ thing - seriously if Dean has to explain porn,  _ porn for crying out loud _ , to him again with Sam in the room, he will  _ die _ of humiliation - but he’s making progress.

 

Watching Cas as he studies most things with awe and wonder, it’s like it awakens something in Dean. He catches himself doing things differently, trying to look at basic tasks from someone else’s perspective. From brand new eyes, even the mundane things like peeing, goddamn peeing, seem kind of marvelous. He used to take so many things for granted. Little did he know that even simple things could be awesome. 

 

Of course there are awkward moments too. Sam calls it ‘Cas’ childlike innocence’, Dean calls it him being plain weird. 

 

Cas pops his first boner one day when Sam’s gone to the library, and Dean’s just coming back to their motel room. He had left to get some greasy, diner hamburgers and wanted to hurry in time to watch Dr. Sexy. Switching on the TV, he moves to take a bite of his burger, while Cas and Sam’s cool on the table. He’s watching a rerun of I Love Lucy, and is thoroughly enjoying himself when he hears Cas calling his name in a weak voice.

 

He immediately gets worried and calls back. “Cas? I’m here.” A million thoughts rush around in his head, all involving Cas’ safety. Did he slip and fall in the shower? Is he hurt? But he hears Cas call out to him again and he quickly moves to knock on the adjoining bathroom door.

 

“Dean! Something’s wrong. But I can’t - can’t explain it.”

 

Dean’s heart thunders in his chest. “What, Cas? Tell me. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

 

Cas sounds scared and incredibly worried. “I  _ can’t _ .”

 

“Is it that serious? Do you need me to come in?”

 

“No!” Cas practically screams.

 

“Cas, are you hurt?” Dean’s hand ghosts the handle of the door, prepared to barge in if need be. He thinks briefly of calling Sam, maybe his nerdiness will be of use right now. “Do you need me to call someone?”

 

“It-it won’t go _down,_ ” Cas groans.

 

Dean immediately freezes. “Cas what won’t go down? Tell me, come on. Don’t be embarrassed.”

 

There’s a long silence before Cas eventually speaks. “I believe it would be more...useful to just show you, I suppose.”

 

Silence fills the room and for a few moments it’s as if all time stands still before the door swings open and Dean gets an eyeful of Cas’...package.

 

He turns around. “Jesus man,” he curses. “You can’t just go around waving your dick at people!”

 

“I was not waving it,” Cas argues. “Are you going to help me?”

 

Dean jumps and takes a few steps away, careful not to look anywhere but Cas’ eyes. “Dude, I can’t really help you with that. You have a - um, a hard on.”

 

Cas’ brow crinkles. “A what?”

 

Dean can feel the red creep up across his cheeks. “A hard on, you know, a boner, you’re stiff, at full salute?”

 

Cas just looks even more confused so Dean forces himself to say the word “erection.” Because he’s mature that way.

 

Cas’ face lights up in comprehension before Dean is closing the door and taking so many steps away that he’s practically across the room. “And you can either wait for it to go soft,” he shouts, swallowing nervously, because this is more than a little uncomfortable. “Or you can just, you know, give yourself some relief.”

 

The former angel isn’t dense and he quickly catches on to what Dean’s saying. “You mean masturbate?”

 

“Yahtzee.”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m saying yes, that’s what I mean.”

 

“How do I do that?” Cas asks, sounding completely helpless. “This hasn’t really happened to me before, Dean. I know arousal is part of the human condition but I’ve never experienced it. I cannot remedy this issue myself.”

 

But Dean’s practically halfway out the motel room door when he yells, “Google it!”

* * *

For two whole weeks, Dean has a hard time, no pun intended, making eye contact with Cas. Sam, as smart as he is, doesn’t pick up on a thing, and neither of them talk about it. Dean would die a happy man if no one will bring it up, ever, in a million years.

But the universe clearly hates him, if that isn’t the  _ biggest fucking surprise _ . Cas doesn’t stop getting hard, and it gets increasingly more awkward. 

 

“What on Earth do you think about?” Dean asks, wiping his brow after changing Baby’s motor oil in the motel parking lot.

 

Cas has been staring at him for an uncomfortably long time while also trying hard to hide his arousal. It’s probably the third time Dean’s caught him aroused while they were together and it’s actually concerning, because it’s  _ Cas _ . Cas who doesn’t understand much about human needs and desires, who is standing there looking both embarrassed and ashamed. Cas who probably saw some chick in a store or a magazine and is getting hard thinking about her. Cas who looks confused but also terrified. He seems like he wants to run away and that’s wrong. Because he shouldn’t feel guilty about being turned on. Dean doesn’t care that he used to be an angel nor does he care that Heaven probably taught him how certain things were ‘supposed’ to be. This is natural, nothing to be ashamed of. Cas needs to know that.

 

He searches for Sam, who has apparently disappeared again. He’s probably gone to flirt with that cute waitress at the diner who always gives him an extra cup of coffee on the house. Seriously, Dean will never understand the things that get Sam hot; the lady’s attractive but of course, it takes the coffee for him to finally pay attention to her heavy flirting.  _ Figures _ . 

 

Then, he takes Cas’ hand and leads him back to the motel room. “Do you still need my help?”

 

Cas raises an eyebrow, as confused as he was that day. “With what?”

Dean rolls his eyes skyward. As if this isn’t difficult enough! “With your...problem.” And he points to the tent in Cas’ pants.

 

Castiel blushes and immediately tries to conceal it again, but Dean isn’t having that. “I can show you how to take care of it, but if you tell anyone, I swear a boner will be the least of your problems.”

 

Cas blinks, surprised. “Are you threatening me?”

 

Dean thinks about it. If Cas was still an angel, Dean would be eating his words right now. But fortunately for him, Cas is just a human being who needs his help with something extremely embarrassing. So yeah, Cas - zero, Dean - one. “Yes, yes I am. Do you want me to help you or not?”

 

He nods desperately. 

 

Dean swallows and looks at anything but Cas. “Take off your pants.”

 

To his surprise, Cas doesn’t hesitate.  _ Eager _ , his mind unhelpfully supplies him. The head of Cas’ erection is pressing insistently against his boxers. He’s smaller than Dean, but he’s still a decent size. Dean can’t help compare - heterosexually, of course.

 

Dean decides to jump right into it. He attempts to explain self-pleasure to Cas complete with hand gestures and an ever-present blush. But Cas, damn him, still doesn’t get it.

 

“Maybe I need a demonstration?” Cas says, defeated.

 

“That’s going to cost you extra, pal,” Dean jokes. “But seriously, that’s not happening. I’m not whipping my dick out to show you how to jerk off. That’s where I draw the line.”

 

The door pushes open to reveal an irate Sam, his gaze flitting furiously back and forth between him and Cas. “What the fuck is going on?”

 

They jump apart. Cas is blushing beet red, and Dean, well, he’s fiercely wishing the floor would swallow him whole right now. 

 

Sam’s livid eyes zero in on Dean. “We need to talk.”

* * *

“I was just showing him how to touch himself!” Dean whispers as low as he can. They’re outside the motel room and it’s a cool night, the wind sending chills and goosebumps across his skin. Cas is inside the room, awaiting the verdict, that, or Dean’s execution.  

 

Dean’s pretty pissed that Sam would think he had any other intentions for Cas than for educational purposes, but even to his own ears, he couldn’t sound any more ridiculous.

 

Sam gets into Dean’s face. “Tell me, Dean. Are you trying to corrupt his innocence? Make him just as perverted as you?”

 

Dean feels the anger run hot and fast through his veins. “Perverted? Do you think I just spend my days thinking of ways to derail Cas off the path of ‘good and righteous and holy’?”

 

“Gee, I don’t know Dean, definitely didn’t seem like you guys were praying to me!” Sam huffs.

 

“Why do you care? It’s not like Heaven is going to take him back anyways,” Dean insists. “Let the guy have a little fun! He just needs some release.”

 

Sam fishes the keys out of his jeans pocket and moves to the motel door. “Here’s a handy tip, go find some willing girl to fool around with. Cas’ soul isn’t yours to taint.”

 

And with that he goes in and shuts the door.

* * *

 

To Dean’s surprise, it’s Cas who comes up to him first, a week later. Apparently, he had overheard their conversation. “I want you to corrupt me.”

 

Dean raises an eyebrow. “What? But Sam-”

 

“Forget Sam. I want it Dean, I want everything you can give me.”

 

And yeah, Dean doesn’t need to be told twice. It’s like comprehension and the truth hit him out of nowhere like a Mack truck. He  _ wants _ Cas. He  _ likes _ Cas. And this is going to happen.

 

* * *

 

_ A Month Later _

 

He’s zipping up his jeans and smoothing Cas’ everpresent sex hair, making sure they both look decent for when Sam comes looking. They’ve parked far enough away from the motel that they won’t be caught, and in all honesty, they’ve been doing this enough times that they’re practically experts in the art of stealth and evasion.

 

Cas has that look in his eye, the one he gets after being thoroughly fucked. The look Dean’s seen enough times to know he’s sated but already dreaming of more. “We are terrible people,” Cas professes, but he doesn’t look guilty at all.

 

Dean leans in to give him a filthy kiss, pulling back with a lecherous grin on his face. Tonight while Sam sleeps, they’ll start on round two. “But ain’t it fun?”

 

Cas gives him a sinful smile of his own, looking utterly debauched. “I wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t.”

 

Dean smirks, grabbing Cas by the hips and pulling him closer. “Oh yes you would. You don’t have an innocent bone in your body. Well, not anymore.”

 

Neither of them can deny it. 

 

That night when they return to the motel, Sam gives Cas a relieved smile while he gives Dean an icy glare. He doesn’t know what’s going on, but Dean says as honestly as he can, “I took Cas out for ice cream.” 

 

Cas nods, easily going with the lie.

 

Sam shrugs. “Whatever,” he says.

 

Dean rolls his eyes. “Bitch.”

 

“Jerk.”

 

“That’s enough you two,” Cas reprimands, but gives Dean a wink behind Sam’s back.

 

Sure, Dean can’t take Cas to Heaven, but he can take him to places no angel’s ever seen. Cas doesn’t seem to mind.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> <3


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